Comfortable In Our Skins

Have you ever been questioned about your sexuality? Have you ever questioned your own sexuality? 

This blog post was inspired by recent events in life. What is sexuality anyways? According to the Oxford dictionary, Sexuality is about your sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions, and behaviours towards other people. 

I know a lot of people who struggle with their identity also struggle with their sexuality. Some people explore just to be sure of what they like. 

So earlier this year a few ladies at the office were talking about gender and how people choose to identify themselves. One of the ladies posed the question "How do you know you like men?"

Another event that inspired this blog was Valentine's Day. On the day I went out with my friend Rheece and had a good time as we always do. Then she dropped me off at home and came in to say "hi" to another friend of ours. My one housemate asked me, "Erica, what team do you play for?" I looked at him with a confused face, not because I didn't understand the question but because I didn't understand why my sexuality was being questioned.

Then I was watching Grown-ish season 3. In one of the episodes, Vivek has a little threesome experience with his girlfriend. When he was telling his friends about it the guys were so proud of him for having a threesome. But all that pride was replaced with doubt when he mentioned that the threesome was with his girlfriend and another guy and that he had kissed the guy but felt nothing. His friends immediately told him he was gay and began to question his sexuality. 

The last event that inspired me was when I was having lunch with a male friend. We were going through some pictures of people who go to the church we met at. He showed me a picture of one of the guys and I was like "ooooh is he a model?" My friend said, "I don't think so but he could be. Why?" I said, "because he is posing like a model there. And he looks fiiinee!" What my friend said next came to me as a pleasant surprise. "He is a good-looking guy." Seeing the look of surprise on my face he said "I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to recognize when other men are good-looking without feeling that I am gay." I was so proud and honestly happy to hear that.

Many times people will question our actions and label us because of the things we say to or about people of the same gender. So often I get questionable looks from girls I complement on the streets or at public places. 

We can't change what people say or think. We need to be comfortable enough with our sexuality and in our skin to keep appreciating people of the same gender and ignoring the ignorance of others. When you know what team you play for no one should be allowed to question you. Don't let other people's insecurities and discomfort affect how you view yourself or what you say to others. 

I can't stop myself from stopping a girl in the street or at a public place to tell her that I think she is beautiful. Even though she will look at me strangely it doesn't change the fact that she is beautiful and I want her to know it. 

Let's learn to be comfortable in our skins and open-minded enough to allow others to be comfortable in their skin without feeling judged.