Persitence

"Persistence can be charming."

This story is quite a surprising one for me as well. The outcome was not what I expected it to be. Let me start from the beginning. In 2014, when I was packing my bags and setting my goals for 2015 I made a promise to myself. I was going to school to study and I wanted to focus on school.

For anyone who has gone to college (university) or moved to a new place, you will know that it is impossible to not make friends. So on the very first day of orientation, I met very interesting people with whom I would share the craziest, most fun and annoying experiences. On my way from the dormitory to the orientation venue, I met my first friend, who was an introvert. In the classroom, we met a girl, who had a unique name and energy. I was already acquainted with my roommate because we had participated in the same pathfinder events in Pretoria. Later I met the girl whom everybody thought was my twin.

I became really close to three of the girls because we stayed in the dorms and we were all in the first year. We used to call ourselves "We beg to differ", I can't remember the reason we called ourselves that. Two months in college and I was acquainted with almost everybody that stayed in dorms (both girls and boys dorms).

One day I was chatting with a friend at the cafeteria one and this guy walked in, greeted my friend and started having a conversation with him, without greeting me. So I asked the guy if I was invisible. He apologized, greeted me and told me his name. When I repeated his name he realized that I said it correctly and asked if I was from Angola.

"No, I am not", I said.

He turned to our mutual friend and asked: "Dude, is she from Angola?"

Our friend replied, "She already told you she is not."

He said, "How come you can say my name properly, most people say it incorrectly."

"I have a lot of Portuguese friends", I said.

"Oh, okay. Nice to meet you." He said.

I responded, "Thank you. I am Erica, nice to meet you too. I am actually from Angola! Are you an off-campus student?"

"No, I stay in the dorms." He said.

I asked, "How come I have never seen you?"

We spent the rest of the afternoon chatting at the cafeteria, a few other Angolans joined us until it was time for me to go to worship. The next day we bumped into each other, we chatted and he asked for my number. I did not want to give it to him because I was staying away from boys. The next day I was chatting with two friends who were also his friends. He and the rest of the gang were coming out of a class. I was somewhat excited to see him, so I waved at him and he didn't wave back. Like a petty girl, I took it personally. He went to his room to drop his bag then he joined us. He greeted the guys and gave me a hug but I did not hug him back. The rest of that story is history, just know that we laughed a lot and I was 'crucified'.

This is the plot twist because I was doing a course that he had already done and he had mentioned to me that he had notes and past papers. So, when I saw him again I asked him for his notes, told him to give it to my roommate because they were in the same accounting class. He kept forgetting and I had to eventually ask my roommate to give me his number (not sure if that was his plan all along). I sent him a WhatsApp message to remind him and said: "Now you have my number."

He asked if I wanted to go to the movies and I said no. He asked me out another time and I said I had a test so I had to study. I kept making excuses to not go out with him. In April we had a mid-semester break and I was going home, he was so sad because he wanted to spend time with me during the break. I promised him that we would skype while I was gone and that is what we did.

When I returned we started spending more time together. A month later and I was still making excuses to not go out with him. I started feeling guilty so I eventually said "yes", then I changed my mind and said I was sick. He was so patient with me that it was killing me. I really enjoyed spending time with him as a friend and that is what I kept telling him. One day we were taking a walk and he was telling me how his friends were calling me dumb to be chasing a girl that is not interested in him. I told him that I agreed with his friends.

I said: "If I were you I would have given up a long time ago, there are too many fish in the sea to be trying to catch one." What he said to me really got me thinking

"There is a lot of fish in the sea but the only fish I want is you." What I said to him probably gave him hope and sent him the wrong message. "Your persistence might just pay off"

 To cut this very long story short, his persistence was very charming and eventually, we started dating and had two and a half good years together. You see many guys would have given up and gone for the next best thing or someone who was not so hard together. So often we give up on things because they are to difficult to do or they take to long to accomplish. We are are not disciplined enough to keep going and we lose sight of our goals. The picture above is a perfect illustration that persistence pays off.

What I learned from this experience is that if you really want something you have to work for it and if it is someone you need to show them how much you want them. I am not saying you will get the same result but you might just leave an impact. The one thing that made me fall for this guy is that he did something that many people won't do, persist.

You can either give up and never know how close you were or keep going and build a character of persistence. For those who may be interested, I still speak to him and we are really good friends.