Taking a leap

"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take."

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in one place and that your life is going nowhere? That is exactly how I felt for the better part of 2020 and the first half of 2021. Sometimes we get stuck in relationships, jobs and other situations because we have become comfortable and complacent. We become blinded by the fact that this thing keeping us stuck is fulfilling a purpose in our lives. Our sight becomes so blurry that we cease to see anything beyond the relationship, job or situation. We even give up on our dreams and plans. 

In December 2019, I finally landed a job as an online English teacher after years of struggling to find a job. I was ecstatic and really grateful to finally start my journey to financial freedom. In the beginning, I loved the job and really put my best effort into ensuring that my students were happy when they left the lesson. I quickly learned that no matter how much effort you put into the work or how well I did my job there were always students who were not satisfied. I had to remain professional through discrimination, unfair feedback and utter disrespect from students. Despite all the negativity I still enjoyed the work because of all the other students that were satisfied, grateful and left constructive feedback. 

What turned the wheel for me was the fact that we as teachers were often overworked and many of us tried to be okay with that because it was paying off. We were making money. In April 2020, though the general manager decided to change the payment structure, our earning potential was changing. We were going to earn less money. I was not happy about the situation but the company did not give us much choice it was either signing the new contract or being unemployed. Given the situation in the world (Covid 19) and after weighing the pros and cons signing the contract was the best option. I would still have a job and continue to take care of myself. Another thing that pushed my buttons was the new quality control person who had recently been promoted from her consultant position. She was just arrogant, impolite and had an accusing tone when asking about the feedback given by students. Despite my clear unhappiness in the job I decided to stick with it. I was so blinded and the fact that I was not landing any other online teaching jobs due to my nationality did not make the situation easier. 

It is normal for us to hesitate to leave something that came to us in our time of need. That person that sweeps us off our feet when we had lost all hope of love. A job that comes after a long time of being unemployed. A person that lends you a helping hand when you didn't know where else to turn. They will always be our heroes or prince in shining armour. We will forever feel indebted to them because we feel like they saved us from the bottom of the pit. At least that is how my colleagues and I felt. Living in a country where the unemployment rate is high and the chance of getting a job in your field is low, we have no choice but cling to the jobs that we get. There was also a pandemic that kept us going back to that same job where we were overworked, underpaid and unappreciated. I could feel the negative impact of the job on me. I was always tired and I was really getting frustrated.

I finally got two other teaching jobs and I was working like a slave so I could be financially stable enough to quit my job. I had set the date for May. Unfortunately, things didn't go according to my plans and I had to prolong my stay at the company. I changed my contract so I could work fewer hours and put in more hours on my other two jobs. In June I fell ill and I was not working. During my sick leave, I spent most of my days sleeping because I had just been overworking. I hadn't realised how tired I was until I stopped working. Eventually, I got better and had to return to work and all those feelings of tiredness, frustration, annoyance and feeling of being stuck came flashing back on my first day back. I just wanted to quit. 

The day finally came! Let me set the scene for you. I was approved to work from home and I was doing well. I smiled through my pain and managed to stay awake even though the medication left me drowsy. Unfortunately, I got a bad rating from a parent whose child couldn't understand a single thing at level 5. My other ratings from other students were fine but that one bad rating put me on the radar of the quality control lady. All that was on my mind and heart was quitting.  On the 2nd of August, I finally drafted my resignation letter. Stating that I would be resigning on the 13th of August. On the 5th of August, however, my team leader told me that they requested that I return to the office on the 10th of August. I immediately updated the resignation date on my letter. Finally, on the 9th of August 2021, I quit my job. I had never felt more liberated. 

Once I quit, I had more time to rest and with more rest, my health improved at a higher rate. The frustration I had felt for a long time was gone and I was more patient with my students in my other online job. I couldn't believe how long I had neglected the negativity that was with me due to my work. I know it is hard to leave a job when there is no other job on the line. It can be difficult to leave a relationship because you are afraid of feeling lonely and undeserving of love. It is only when we take a leap that we can reap the benefits. When you take that leap you remove the blindfold that has been making it impossible for you to see the possibilities ahead of you. 

I can say that I gained more and lost nothing after I took a stance and quit my job. I have more time to focus on other things. I have a job that focuses on career development and I earn more than I was earning before. Sometimes we need to be willing to let go of our heroes in order to see movement in our lives. If Marvel and DC comics can have more than one superhero why do we devote ourselves to only one? It's time that we see things in our lives as stepping stones and not the only solution. I know there are still a lot of people at my former company who are unhappy but are also too afraid to take a chance on themselves. There were so many people I motivated to search for other online opportunities but their fear led them to be satisfied with what they have.

We need to be willing to take calculated risks in life in order to reach unimaginable levels of success. In order for us to reach our goals, we need to be willing to let go of the things that weigh us down. It all starts by realising what is weighing you down. Once you know what it is don't be afraid to break those chains. No ship stays anchored at the dock forever. You have to allow yourself to sail into new adventures and face new storms. Take every situation as a learning curve but never stop learning. In order to get the whole story, you have to read and turn every page in a book. If you want a new story you need to get another book. 

Break free from the chains of fear. Remove the blindfold that obscures your vision. Decide to move, grow and be bold.