Challenges

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I had to take a deep breath before I started writing. I don't really know what direction this post will take but let's see what we will end up with.

Challenges, huh! The things that remind us that we are human and that we can do nothing on our own. So on the 18th of March 2021 I discovered what the lump, I have been feeling on the lower right-hand part of my abdomen, for the most part of a year, is. Let's go back a little. 

Around April 2020, I was rubbing my abdomen because period cramps were killing me. Suddenly I felt something, so I continued to press and try to feel what was going on because of my history. I have had a cyst removed from my right breast and so I have a higher chance of cysts appearing somewhere else. That's just the problem of hormonal imbalance. 

So let's get back to the lump. I thought it may just be a cyst. Due to the pandemic and my frail health I prolonged visiting the doctor. When I finally did, November 2020, the first doctor sent me for an abdominal x-ray which determined that nothing could be seen in the scans. So I breathed a little and put this lump aside. 

I visited the doctor again in February 2021 because I was feeling a lot of pain. Long story short I had to go for an ultrasound where they discovered a 6cm fibroid and some other small ones in my uterus. 

"This is for all the years you said you don't want kids" I said to myself in a joking way. When I explained to a few friends at work what I had just discovered some were very empathetic and assured me that I will be alright. One immediately asked me "Where is your mother?" I was obviously confused. So she said "Do you go through this things alone". 

In all honesty my mother was the last person I wanted to tell because she would be super worried. This discovery caused me to call upon the Lord. I cried to Him and asked for faith and guidance. "What do I do next Lord?" Should I trust that you will move mountains and perform a miraculous healing or should I believe that you will heal me throught the doctors. 

A close friend said to me "If you have faith God can heal you without you needing doctors." My challenges can bring me closer to God, they make me call upon his name and ask him to renew me and my faith. Now if you claim to love and follow the Lord and your challenges don't bring you closer to Him. Than who or what are you getting closer to? 

We can only trust in God and grow closer to Him. Yes, we should have a close and constant relationship with Him, which will in turn bring us to the foot of the cross when we have challenges. No one, not even my mother can understand how I feel nor answer the questions I have. Family and friends can quickly say go to the doctor or let's pray about it. 

God tells you that it is taken care of. That gives me the assurance and peace I need to live my life without fear. As well as to be prepared for  whomever I will become after these challenges. Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your path straight. Pray for yourselves and for one another. May we make God the Lord of our challenges.


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