Out of Place

"Do you ever feel like a misfit? Do you ever feel like an outcast? You don't have to fit into the format."

- Ava So Am I

Have you ever went somewhere and felt so out of place even though you knew the people that were there?

My whole life I have felt out of place. I felt out of place at home, out of place within my family, at school, at church and right now I feel so out of place at work. 

So often we find ourselves in places where we feel uncomfortable, unwelcomed or even just out of place. You may be surrounded by people you know but the environment is just not right for you.

Living in a foreign country left me feeling out of place so many times. In high school I felt out of place because I didn't fit in with the popular kids, I wasn't part of the nerds or geeks. I was just those people who went through school unnoticed. I also didn't enjoy the same type of entertainment as the people my age at the time.

At church among the people, my age conversations would start as a big group but so often I would find myself surrounded by people talking in languages I didn't understand. Being the only Portuguese speaking family at church was a challenge because if people weren't speaking English then we were automatically not part of the conversation.

My work situation is a bit similar not only am I the only Portuguese speaking person I am also the only one who enjoys a different type of entertainment. My religious believes and lifestyle choices automatically make me an outcast in many circles. 

For many people being an outcast or not fitting in would be the end of the world. It would lead to insecurity and other self-esteem issues. There is nothing wrong with that. People have FOMO and no man is an island. We are social beings and being rejected or not being part of social circles we would like to be a part of can be devastating. 

For me, it's not really a bother. A few months ago I was speaking to a friend who shared with me that when he was younger he would cry because people wouldn't invite him to their birthday parties and other social events. I sympathized with him. 

Being an outcast doesn't bother me because I grew up knowing that I am in this world but not of this world. So whenever I feel out of place I am reminded that I am not of this world. This does not mean that I avoid social gatherings. I am a very social person. I can be very comfortable and the life of the party in circles I choose to. I can also look very unfriendly in circles I would not like to be a part of. 

I get to work every day with my headsets on, music on blast and make it a point to tell people that I am there to work and not to make friends. That doesn't mean that I don't have friends at work. There are people I go to when I feel like being a social butterfly. 

Sometimes we wonder why we don't fit in a certain circle or why certain people don't talk to us at school or work. I have learned that pieces of a puzzle were made to fit in a specific place. No matter how hard you try to put it in a place where it doesn't belong it will not fit. 

The same goes for people. We were made to fit in certain circles and groups. Having the same beliefs does not automatically mean that you will fit in. Liking the same things does not mean you will be good friends. We need to learn to identify and accept our places in this world, in people's lives and in our environment.

Don't be disheartened if you are not part of the crowd.