What you deserve

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"That is so shallow"
My brother said to my sister after she said "I can never marry an ugly man."
I remember that day like it was today and my brother's comment really stuck with me. Some time last year I decided to write a series of letters that I would give to my future husband. I had entitled the file 'Dear future husband' I started of by thanking him for choosing me and for loving me as I am. Then I went on to sharing all the expectations I had for my future husband. I made a list. It went something like this:

"I never wanted to get married but if you are reading this you must have swept me off my feet and changed my world for the beyter. This is a letter from the girl that had not met you. This is what I imagine my future husband to be like:
1. God fearing
2. Same believes (Seventh day Adventist)
3. Goal driven
4. Ambitious
5. Blue eyes
6. Blonde hair
7. Tall
8. Handsome

There are many other things but you will find those out in future letters. Numbers 1-4 I am not willing to compromise on but 5-8 are just the wishes of the shallow little girl in me."

We all have that shallow little child in is us who wishes for nothing beyond good looks, riches, good stature and fun (adrenaline). Don't get me wrong I am not saying those things aren't important but they shouldn't be our priority.

A few months ago I was chatting to a friend who asked me why I was still single. I said, "I guess it's because I haven't found a man that possesses the qualities that I want."
"Okay, so what do you want exactly?" He asked.
In all honesty I said, "I don't know what I want."
That is the main problem with most of us, we either don't know what we want so we cling to the things we learned to expect from fairytales and movies. Some people have a whole list of things they want and things they are not willing to compromise.

I remember watching the movie 'Nobody's Fool' which depicts the story of a woman who had a list of things she expected from her Mr Right. She found the man that fit the description, had an online relationship with him only to later fall in love with someone who did not fit her list.

Sometimes we are so blinded by what we think we want that we don't see what is right in front of us. We don't allow ourselves to love the people around us who are real because they don't fit our expectations.

For a very long time I truly believed, a small part of me still does till now, that I want to marry a blue-eyed blond hair man. Many times I joked with my friends saying "I am not going to understand if God doesn't give me exactly what I want." 🤣

Deep down in my heart I am ready to love and be loved by anyone who fits into the four descriptions. From what I could gather from some of my friends. Real women are not expecting prince charming in shinning armour. They want real man who will pursue them, love them, make them laugh. Man who are caring and understanding. Man who can provide and above all man who love and Fear God. What good is a relationship without a good foundation? If the foundation is good everything else will be good. 

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