Missed Signs

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"Suicide does not kill people, sadness kills them!"

What goes through the mind of someone when they have decided that they have had enough and that they were tired? Sometime last year (2018) I had the idea of starting a suicide awareness campaign, after watching the second season of 13 Reasons Why. I had an idea of what suicide was and I was well aware that it is real for many people. I am not aware of anybody that I know that has committed suicide but I am sure that many people I know have thought of it at least once. The name of my campaign was going to be Missed Signs and with it, I wrote a poem that I will add to this blog.

Part of the campaign was to make use of social media to post alerting status' and/or stories and see how many people would respond. So last year I posted my first status and I only got 3 responses and all three were from women. When I saw how little responses I received compared to my other posts I became concerned and that's where the inspiration to write the poem 'Missed Signs' came from. If I can get more likes and comments for other things then I get by asking for help then that will just show me that people don't really care about my problems. This also tells me that very few people are willing to help.



This year I posted this and I got 3 responses again. Two were facebook comments and the third was an encouraging WhatsApp message from a former lecturer.




We may think that this means nothing but as a researcher I know it says a lot. Many people spend the majority of their time on social media trying to get the validation they don't get from real life. For some their virtual world is their only safe place, so imagine if you have logged onto your virtual world to ask for help and nobody came to your rescue... How would you feel? Often the ones left behind ask 'Why?' way too late or they only realize all the signs they missed once the person is gone.

There are also failed suicidal attempts and for family and friends that is a miracle but it is really a nightmare for a person that has been struggling in silence and was just done! Once you have failed your suicidal attempt people become extra careful with you and treat you like a porcelain mug, which can become overwhelming at times and get you back to your suicidal thoughts. They make you want to scream, want to cut, want to cry and want to die.

The other part of my campaign was something I had started for myself just to express myself. It was a book entitled 'Dear Society'; in the book you would find letters to society from people who have suffered in silence but have had enough. They would tell their stories in an attempt to make society aware of the things they so often miss. Signs that are right in front of us but we fail to see because we have become such a self-centered and self-conscious society. A society of people that seek to fulfill their egos turning their act of helping someone in need into a campaign. We are an ill society that needs healing in order for us to save the ones we love before it is too late. We are a society blindsided by the 'I" mentality.

Here goes the poem:

MISSED SIGNS

They lefts many signs
But we did not see them.
We were so busy trying to save ourselves
That we lost them.

It wasn't an overnight decision'
It was a daily struggle.
They asked for help
But no one heard them.

We were so busy listening self encouraging podcasts
But we couldn't encourage them.
We were so busy cutting people from our lives
That we didn't notice the cut on their arms.

We were so busy hiding our tears 
That we couldn't dry theirs. 
We were so full of life 
But we couldn't help them choose life.

They left many signs
But we ignored them.
They said they were done
And we thought nothing of it.

So when they died
We were left noticing the signs!

The aim of my campaign, if ever I actually start it, is to help people be aware of the signs that people show. If you notice something help the person rather than shame or judge them. The aim of this blog post is to share with you a few things that I have started doing to gain information and build on my campaign. Mental health is not a choice. Being silent is not a choice. You don't have to justify yourself to anybody but it is better to speak up when you are ready to do so. The few people who care and are willing to help, talk to them. 


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